Black Country Boy

 

Three weeks ago, Dovey J slipped to their first defeat of the campaign versus bogey-side, Whoever Athletic. The most Dovey J has ever taken from this encounter is a point.

 

Dovey K kicked off in a determined and confident fashion. Playing a slightly higher defensive-line than usual, they dominated early possession and swarmed all over a beleaguered and dis-jointed opposition. A neat through ball from Ian A allowed fellow-defender Chris C to lash home an opener from the left flank. Whoever Athletic resorted to defending in numbers; it was a classic example of desperate, damage-limitation. It was a mystery how they managed to make it to the break only trailing 3-1.

 

The second-half was a different affair. A rejuvenated opposition hussled and bussled from the outset, bringing out the nerves in the league leaders. Never a team to fare well under physical duress, Dovey J wobbled; at times it looked like an incredible upset could be on the cards. But it was not to be. For every goal Whoever A smashed home, Dovey J were able to hit on the break and deliver an instant riposte.

 

 

Dovey Junction 8 v 5 Whoever Athletic

 

Nick J (4)

Andy B (2)

Rich H

Chris C

 

Alex A: The Dovey J No. 1 will be disappointed to have conceded five after last week's impressive clean sheet but could hardly be blamed for any of the goals. Most were driven from distance, at cannon-ball pace, through a crowd of players.

 

Ian A: Comfortable but never really got out of second gear. Created a couple of goals and made a series of important challenges.

 

Jamie A: Pre-match concerns about the absentee centre-half's fitness appeared unfounded. Strong and committed throughout. Rarely ventured beyond the half-way line but did what was asked of him. Excellent man-on-man job in the second period.

 

Chris C: Looks like becoming a regular feature in the starting line-up. Another reliable and consistent defence performance capped off with a rare yet well-taken first half goal.

 

Andy B: Arguably, one of his best performances this season. Displayed some wonderful first-touch football and looks like he is beginning to forge a dangerous partnership with Nick J. Two excellent goals which should boost his confidence no end.

 

Nick J: Terrific...again. Dominated the midfield and threatened every time he ventured forward. 8 goals in 2 game is league top-scorer territory.

 

Rich H: Unusually quiet return for the Dovey J No. 9. Nevertheless, he added a useful dimension to the squad and was at the heart of at least two of the goals.

 

Next week: KSC

 

 

 

After easing past Maverick Mamuska last week, Dovey J head the premiership with 30 points from 11 games. Spall, sitting neatly in 4th spot posed a stiff challenge to a depleted DJ squad. With Jamie A, Ste S, Ste H and Rich H all sidelined, this was a potential banana-skin match for the league leaders.

 

Spall, renowned free-scorers, kicked off the most positive. Dovey J looked out of sorts in the opening minutes but soon got into their stride. In a tight first period, Dovey J sat deep, attacking quickly on the break; to devastating effect. A 2-0 half-time lead was well deserved.

 

It was more of the same in the second period. Dovey J soaked up the pressure from deep, frustrated their opponents, and hit on the break. Despite periods of pressure, the defence held tight and were rewarded with a first clean sheet of the season. And to cap off a fine display, a final attacking surge resulted in two well-worked late goals.

 

 

Dovey J 5 v 0 Spall

 

Nick J (4)

Ian A

 

 

Alex A: World class display. Inspired second-half performance; full credit for the clean sheet. Cemented his reputation as the league's best 'keeper.

 

Ian A: Majestic defensive display, capped off with a first-half screamer. On this performance, the  chairman must not stall contract negotiations any longer. A 3-year deal will be worth every penny.

 

Chris C: Dovey J's 'lucky charm' delivered again. Accomplished performance. Positioning and discipline excellent, tackling immense. On the verge of a becoming a regular.

 

Jani: A promising performance from the youth team star. Looked neat on the ball and displayed flashes of real talent. Still lacks a physical presence but that will come with age.

 

Nick J: Former Wolves' star just keeps getting better. Midfield-dynamo turned goal-scoring hero. Strong, brave and lethal in front of goal. Vital to the title challenge.

 

Andy B: Tasked with a difficult job, the Dovey J No. 10 rose to the challenge. Defended robustly and forged an improved performance with Nick J when let loose upfront in the second period. Back on track.

 

 

Next week: Whoever Athletic

 

 

 

After the disappointment of last week it was critical for Dovey J to return to winning ways against mid-table also-rans, Maverick Mamuska. Dovey have never lost to MM but encounters between the two are notoriously dull affairs.

 

With both Homfray brothers missing, Ste (fractured jaw), Rich (knee), Chris C was drafted back into the starting line-up.

 

Predictably, the game kicked off in dour fashion. Dovey J enjoyed most of the possession but failed to break down a rugged and determined MM defence. Nevertheless, their hard work was finally rewarded with two quick goals before the half-time break.

 

As MM tired, the second half opened up. Chances were created at both ends but it was Dovey J who took the initiative. At 4-0 a season's-first clean sheet looked on the cards. Alas, it was not to be. A neat one-two beat off the Angus brothers and gave MM a glimmer of hope. As MM pressed forward however, cracks appeared at the back which were ruthlessly exploited by Andy B and Nick J.

 

 

Dovey Junction 6 v 1 Maverick Mamuska

 

Andy B (2)

Ian A

Nick J

Ste S

Chris C

 

 

Alex A: Thankfully, the Dovey J No.1 had shed his ghastly, lime green, eastern-european-esque goalkeeper jersey for tonight's match; and it seemed to transform his fortunes. After conceding four last week, he very nearly pulled of a deserved clean sheet. Immense from the outset. Pulled off a spectacular save in the second period, as the MM danger-man flashed in a long-range effort. The crowd could be heard to comment on the keeper's likeness to a leaping salmon in full flight.

 

Ian A: After a wobbly performance on Friday night, a solid performance was much-needed tonight. It was certainly delivered. Strong in the tackle and consistent in the pass and dangerous in front of goal. Should do his confidence the world of good.

 

Jamie A: Another faultless performance from the the younger Angus. Composed, disciplined and confident, he never looked threatened by the MM front-line.

 

Chris C: Drafted in at the last minute but didn't disappoint. In fact, this was arguably his best performance in orange and white. Rock solid in the tackle and even weighed in with a well-taken first half goal.

 

Nick J: Oozes quality. Bossed the midfield and created a raft of chances in front of goal. Suffed an injury scare in the first half but thankfully it was nothing too serious.

 

Andy B: Tireless performance topped off with two well-deserved second half goals. A newfound confidence could see the No.9 smash home a stack of goals in the coming matches.

 

Ste S: An uncharacteristically poor performance last week has been consigned to to newspaper print. Back to form, the midfield maestro was at the heart of tonight's all-round positive team display. Didn't stop running, found space and created a plethora of chances for others. Excellent match.

 

16/09/07

 

Dovey Junction 3 v 4 Whoever Athletic 

 

Nick J (3)

 

No match report available.

 

* Pet Shop Boys on the Media Player *

 

 

  

 

 

Go to work and take your calls
Hang the fruits
of your labour on the walls
Such precision and care
What does it matter
if there's no one here to share

Flowers in the garden
blue wine
the "Waiting for Godot"
and so much modern time?


All I want
is what you want
I'm always waiting
for a red letter day

The years perfecting a stance
of measured cool
fade into insignificance
The moment one starts to understand
What on earth
does it profit a man?

All I want
is what you want
I'm always waiting
for a red letter day

For something special
somehow new
someone saying 'I love you'
Baby, I'm waiting
for that red letter day

You can sneer
or disappear behind a veneer
of self-control
But for all of those who don't fit in
who follow their instincts
and are told they sin
this is a prayer for
a different way

All I want
is what you want
I'm always waiting
for a red letter day

Like Christmas morning
when you're a kid
Admit you love me
and you always did
Baby I'm waiting
for that red letter day

I'm always waiting,
I'm always waiting, waiting

For something special
somehow new
someone saying 'I love you'
Baby, I'm hoping
for that red letter day
Today

 

Go to work and take your calls
Hang the fruits
of your labour on the walls
Such precision and care
What does it matter
if there's no one here to share

Flowers in the garden
blue wine
the "Waiting for Godot"
and so much modern time?


All I want
is what you want
I'm always waiting
for a red letter day

The years perfecting a stance
of measured cool
fade into insignificance
The moment one starts to understand
What on earth
does it profit a man?

All I want
is what you want
I'm always waiting
for a red letter day

For something special
somehow new
someone saying 'I love you'
Baby, I'm waiting
for that red letter day

You can sneer
or disappear behind a veneer
of self-control
But for all of those who don't fit in
who follow their instincts
and are told they sin
this is a prayer for
a different way

All I want
is what you want
I'm always waiting
for a red letter day

Like Christmas morning
when you're a kid
Admit you love me
and you always did
Baby I'm waiting
for that red letter day

I'm always waiting,
I'm always waiting, waiting

For something special
somehow new
someone saying 'I love you'
Baby, I'm hoping
for that red letter day
Today

 

Go to work and take your calls
Hang the fruits
of your labour on the walls
Such precision and care
What does it matter
if there's no one here to share

Flowers in the garden
blue wine
the "Waiting for Godot"
and so much modern time?

All I want
is what you want
I'm always waiting
for a red letter day

The years perfecting a stance
of measured cool
fade into insignificance
The moment one starts to understand
What on earth
does it profit a man?

All I want
is what you want
I'm always waiting
for a red letter day

For something special
somehow new
someone saying 'I love you'
Baby, I'm waiting
for that red letter day

You can sneer
or disappear behind a veneer
of self-control
But for all of those who don't fit in
who follow their instincts
and are told they sin
this is a prayer for
a different way

All I want
is what you want
I'm always waiting
for a red letter day

Like Christmas morning
when you're a kid
Admit you love me
and you always did
Baby I'm waiting
for that red letter day

I'm always waiting,
I'm always waiting, waiting

For something special
somehow new
someone saying 'I love you'
Baby, I'm hoping
for that red letter day
Today 

 

Dovey Junction have opened the campaign with a record haul of points. A win tonight versus third spot, Rodney's Pilchards would see them harness a full 27 points from 9 games.

 

A near full-strength squad kicked off in a confident fashion but found themselves frustrated by an exceptional first half-performance from the opposition's rather rotund, yet deceptively agile goalkeeper. After a period of attrition, the deadlock was finally broken by a clinical finish from midfield dynamo, Ste S. Almost immediately, the opposition responded, taking advantage of a lapse in concentration at the heart of the Dovey J defence to drill home an equaliser. A disciplined first-half performance paid dividends however, as the league's only unbeaten club, extended their half-time lead to 3-1.

 

A lacksidasical second half-performance threatened that seemongly comfortable lead. A resurgent opposition played the counter-attack system to perfection and within only five minutes of the final whistle had levelled the match at 4-4. However, in displaying the kind of steel so desperately lacking from the squad at times last season, Ste S rallied the troops and smashed home two late goals to ensure the full three points and an extended unbeaten run.

 

 

 

 

Ste S (4)

Rich H (2)

Jamie A

 

 

Alex A: Pulled off two world class first-half saves. Had no chance with two of the RP goals but on another day may have kept out the other two - one through the legs and one high and central. The 4am chicken bhuna could be to blame for delayed reactions.

 

Ian A: Steady but unspectacular. Struggled to stamp any real authority on proceedings. Had few chances to bomb forward; the efforts he did have were sliced wide or expertly blocked. At fault for the oppositions' equaliser.

 

Jamie A: Assured and confident performance, especially in the first period - won literally every challenge and distribution was near faultless. Guilty of two ropey second-half back-passes but they shouldn't detract from an excellent outing.

 

Ste H: Another solid performance from the Dovey J centre-half. At fault for the opposition's opener but played a blinder thereafter.

 

Ste S: Monumental in midfield. Never stopped running and acted as the perfect creative antidote to a sterile team performance in the second period. It is no coincidence that the signing of the former Mean Machine star over the summer has coincided with Dovey J's surge to to the top of the league. Weighed in with four quality goals.

 

Andy B: Industrious performance. Worked exceptionally hard. Still struggling to find his shooting boots though; needs to start weighing in with more goals.

 

Rich H: Stoned. Ineffective for large swathes of the match, but devastating in front of goal. The new Freddie Eastwood.

 

 

Next week: Whoever Athletic.

 

 

 

* The Cure on the Media Player *

 

One of my favourite tracks and a sure-fire way of getting me on the dancefloor. Spent many a Friday night at 'Face Off' in Swansea shuffling to this number whilst clutching the obligatory £1 bottle of Carlsberg.

 

 

 

I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm in love

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Oh, Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love

Saturday, wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday, never hesitate...

I don't care if Mondays black
Tuesday, Wednesday - heart attack
Thursday, never looking back
It's Friday, I'm in love

Monday, you can hold your head
Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed
Or Thursday - watch the walls instead
It's Friday, I'm in love

Saturday, wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday, never hesitate...

Dressed up to the eyes
It's a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's Friday, I'm in love

I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm in love

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love

 

 

 

Hehe, Charlie Brooker is back on top-form. Fellow arachnophobes will appreciate his article in today's G2:

 

 

Nearly choked on my nutrigrain bar when my brother sent this story through to me this morning. You just couldn't make it up:

 

"It knocked her to the ground, lay on top of her and displayed what the police delicately described as possible mating behaviour."

 

Courtesy of BBC: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/6954728.stm

 

Pet camel kills Australian woman

Camels were brought to Australia in the 1840s for transportation A woman in Australia has been killed by her pet camel after the animal may have tried to have sex with her. The woman was found dead at the family's sheep and cattle ranch near the town of Mitchell in Queensland. The woman had been given the camel as a 60th birthday present earlier this year because of her love of exotic pets. The camel was just 10 months old but already weighed 152kg (336lbs) and had come close to suffocating the family's pet goat on a number of occasions. On Saturday, the woman apparently became the object of the male camel's desire. It knocked her to the ground, lay on top of her and displayed what the police delicately described as possible mating behaviour. "I'd say it's probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing," the Associated Press news agency quoted Queensland police Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory as saying. Young camels are not normally aggressive but can become more threatening if treated and raised as pets.

 

I am beginning to feel like Victor Meldrew.

 

Another water-less weekend was capped off wonderfully this evening after a quick visit to the communal bin-store shed light on a set of new neighbours. As I went to hurl my rubbish into one of the industrial-style bins I caught a flash of teeth. Two tramps, bold-as-brass have set up quite a comfortable new home, complete with double mattress, individual sleepings bags and even, yes wait for it, a coffee table. Unbelievable. Welcome to Wolverhampton-style luxury city-living. Gobsmacked, I just wished them a comfortable evening. They smiled, raised their cans of super-strength lager and said, 'cheers mate', as though we were regular neighbours. Might even take them some home-made samosas later.

 

On a serious note, it just highlights the disaster which is city-living. Councils up and down the country are rushing headlong into this fad, repeating many of the the same planning mistakes of the 1960s. It...does...not...work.

 

The tramps bother me much less than the lack of running water. I have set the maintenance contractors a deadline of tomorrow to respond to my formal complaint, agree compensation and fix the bloody fault. If not, bring on the press and media, local MP and the courts.

 

 

 

Excellent result for Wolves at Hillsborough this afternoon. 3-1 and by all accounts it could have been more. Still, there is work to be done to shore up the defence: a new, quick centre-half and a decent left-back. Gray is not up to the job. Bring on Blackpool and Morecambe.

 

Manchester City 1 v 0 Manchester United. I nearly pissed myself.